Are You a Pro or Pretender?
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Last year I attended a talk by speaker and author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) while at the HOW Design Live Conference (creative professionals from around the globe) in Chicago. The topic of her talk was “Thoughts on Creative Living” but her message and story applies to anyone trying to reach their goal(s).
Below are my takeaways from Ms. Gilbert’s presentation. As you will see, they involve taking a deep look inward and being willing to make sacrifices to get where you want to be.
Ms. Gilbert shared a story of a conversation (just after she graduated from College) between her and an informal mentor (a successful writer) which caused a very very bright light to go off in her head.
I will not attempt to repeat the story, however the gist of it went something like this. . . when asked by her mentor how her writing was going, Ms. Gilbert replied “not well, I have to work several jobs and when I get home my roommates are always partying and I have no time to write.” The mentor then asked her what her favorite TV show was and Ms. Gilbert replied “Seinfeld” to which the mentor answered, “oh it must be nice to have time to watch tv.” Next the mentor asked “what magazines do your read?” and Ms. Gilbert replied “oh several I guess, Vogue” (and a few others I don’t recall), again the mentor commented, “it must be nice to have time to read magazines.” Next the mentor said she recalled Elizabeth saying she and her friends were renting a cottage at the Jersey Shore for a week or so in the upcoming Summer and commented that “it must be nice to have time to spent a week or so at the beach on vacation.” At this point Elizabeth saw what her mentor was trying to convey to her.
The mentor then went on to say (I paraphrase) “Elizabeth, you are not a writer. You are a pretender, pretending to be a writer and you will not be going to the beach this summer, because if you do, our little talks will be over.” The point was if Elizabeth want to be a writer, then she needed stop pretending and make the difficult sacrifices it takes to get her where she wanted to be. She did not go to the beach that Summer.
In order to stop pretending and start finding the time to get the job done, Elizabeth had to learn to say no and focus on her goal. She needed to put her priorities first and her friends and other stuff second.
How did she do this? First she took on an attitude of “I don’t care.” If something wasn’t going to get her to her goal, she ignored it. Think about your own life or someone you know, how much time do you/they spend on Facebook reading and/or commenting on things that have no direct impact on you, your life or your goals? In addition to the time wasted, you also are inviting unwanted stress into your life. Adopt an attitude of I don’t care and see how much more relaxed you and your life become.
Ms. Gilbert also talked about setting boundaries around the things we consider sacred. That could be the time you spend each day connecting with other professionals on LinkedIn or your quiet time in the morning or evening when you like to read/write/paint or whatever it is you find important enough to block out any distractions, thus helping you get to where you want to be.
We all have a time of day that we function best, figure out that time and dedicate it to the activities you find sacred. . . your priority! Don’t let anything interrupt you or take this time away.
To recap:
- Are you a pretender? If so, change that right now.
- Learn to say no.
- Focus on your priorities first and foremost.
- Adopt an “I don’t care” attitude.
- Determine your best time of day.
- Set boundaries on your time and don’t let anyone or anything hijack it.
I hope you were able to glean some useful information from this article and wish you the best in implementing ALL of the items mentioned!
Cheers,
Barry "Custom-Designed Digital Business Card" Donovan